doyle

 I had a ginger friend once….until I shot him. Im joking!! No really I do, I honestly do have ginger friends…..Well, I say ‘friends’, maybe thats the wrong word. Ok, now I serious,, I DO have a ginger friend –  I keep him locked up under the stairs. Ha ha ok ok, sorry, Im kidding…he’s in the shed. Come on, I wouldnt let a ginny in my flat now would I? Thats like when you invite a vampire in to your home – it renders you powerless.

Dont get me wrong here its obviously bad for anyone to discrimiate against a person purely based on the colour of their hair. But just look at this kid. I bet he gets his arse kicked everyday..wouldnt matter if he had black, brown or blonde hair. Wouldnt matter if he had a hoverboard for fucks sake. Kids know when they see a nancy boy piss face and thats all there is to it. He’s got that look in his eyes that says “Sir, I know who broke that window” or “Mummy Mummy, can we go shopping for my new school blazer” or “when I grow up, I want to touch kids”.

Actually, shit, he looks a lot like a young Simon Amstell…..he was a cunt too.

Anyways, I’ll leave you with the comment from ‘Josef Fritzl’ towards the bottom of that news story.

Josef Fritzl

Tue, Jan 13, 09 at 02:08 PM

I don’t see what the big deal is. They are only gingers, it’s not like they are people or anything. We should just sterilize all gingers and people who carry ginger genes, then after a generation the ginger problem would resolve itself.

..(thats a blatent lie).

Are all Japanese people born with an inate persuasion to the ridiculous?

So..sounding not unlike a cerebal palsy sufferer with a mouth full of mars bars, I give you Reh Dogg. Word.

Maybe.

YES! YES! YES! YES! CUNT! YES! YES YES!! The legend himself returns. Good old Auntie are doing us proud once again with another installment of shock phonetics from the man who invented swearing. Im almost pissing my pants in anticipation here. Remember these:

“Mum, ya slut!”

“Hey big nose!”

“Jehovas!”

“”Fuckin’ Nescafe”

“HEY, nnnnn, Hey….FUCK…..*bark*..nnnnn…CUNT”

“‘D’ya want that piece of fish, Mum?

Just…nnnn…what will he CUNT FUCK say say say this time?! I cant fuckin wait. *ruff*

P.S. I wish they’d hurry up and make this.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn……nnnnnnn”

Looking not unlike a Ninja Turtle dusted in turd is Ben Grimm, or the one they call the ‘Thing’. And thats exactly how Id describe it aswell….cos it doesnt look like any thing your likely to see again. Dazzling. Somehow, uunderneath all that hi tech wizardry is a man so talented he somehow pushes acting boundaries to whole new level. Oscar? Maybe not. Bafta? Surely.

And here’s how it all ends. Ladies and gentlemen, nothing can prepare you for the final 30 seconds of this modern day special effects masterpiece. Even the likes of Ray Harryhausen would have been impressed with this shit. Do yourself a favour and fast forward to the wedding scene…..and that arm.

Ellish.

Here’s Eminem on his German leg of the publicity hike that is his new album. Pisses all over that Jonathan Ross arse kissing extraordinaire that was on the other night. The sausage munching bosh even has his own gliding stage and uber fantastic flashing arrow displays. Fuck you Rossy, you brown nosed nerd.