aaaaaay Rat Fans!

It aint worth watching all the way through thats for damn sure…but just scope out the ropey looking mush around 30 seconds in. What the hells going on there? He could get his head through your letterbox and eat an apple out the kitchen fruit bowl.

done

Wheres me satnav, Im Donkin?

Ya ya Europopacrazymonsterkillerwatts rinky dinky ya….”MWWWAAAAAAHHHH”

Here’s my local builder/plumber/painter/delivery man on his way to work in Stoke Newington. Turns out someone left a tap running. Its a thankless task but he rates it better than his last placement – working all hours at that freezer factory in Moscow.

While were on the subject of subversive dance, heres a clip from last months Vice as they delve in to the thinkingmans dance movement, ‘Donk’. This is blatently just happy hardcore with a fancy new name but what do I know – maybe this is the soundtrack to the next generation…(of cunts).

Looks the same as I remember though. Load of doyles bombin about in shit XR2’s pickin up 14 year old lasses in tracksuits on a Friday night. Or better still, pulling 180’s down the sandy carpark then offski to curb crawl near Buzz n Zoom and start a few fights. We used to call these lot ‘chores’ or ‘charvers’ or ‘uzi’s’ (as in, uzi you like?!) These days any old prick in a hooded top gets called a chav. The worlds gone mad.

“It were well good mate…it goes DONK DONK DONK, Im a donkey.”

ona bad un

…and heres some more freaky shit for the trippers out there…..but remember what the old coin-ops used to knock out: ‘winners dont use drugs’. Sounds like something Tom Cruise would say.

techno viking

Theres just no fucking way I can leave this fella out. Good old Hans Shlepkopper, a humble mildmannered shopkeeper by day but a wrath torn destruction demon of fallen angels come night. This monster of a man is created from your pure pain.

box me head

When I was about 16/17 I took LSD every Thursday night, for at least a year. These were great days, though my brain has probably suffered the effects. I say ‘probably’ but its a loose term which roughly means definitely.

I’d advise everyone to take it at least once just purely cos it funny as fuck and freaky as shit  all at the same time. You can spot a person whose dabbled within the first 10 seconds of speaking to them. Im not saying that anyone who hasnt taken a trip in their lifetime is gay, but thats what Im hinting at.

Theres no way Im going to start on some of spiritual rant here, Im just purely saying that everything isnt quite as it seems and sometimes it needs a fuel injection of madness to make you realise that.

Having said all of that you can get a bit too in to LSD, and that could be said for me. At one point I covered an entire bedroom wall in jazzy angel picture flyers that Id stolen from the local nightclub. They actually fitted together seamlessly like when you hang up patterned wallpaper. Infact I dedicated my entire room to tripping. I hung up pictures of gurners, spackers and various collages Id made of random weird shit. Looking back on it now, I was pretty fucking disturbed. My pride and joy was a picture of the local disabled football team, which I framed and then added a cut-out of a family pointing, laughing and holding icecreams. Add a mini magnifying glass attached by a piece of string and you get the idea. It was almost a precurser to the shit you see flying round the net done on photoshop. I was way ahead of my time (errr). I know its not the sort of thing you want your mother to see and then question you about over Sunday dinner though….that was some fucked up conversation I can tell you. I think she was this close to calling a psychiatrist.

I also made tripping tapes, both audio and visual. These came in very handy to my group of mates when the time was right. . .some of which I still have and will upload when I get my finger out of my arse.

My point is, at some point in the future I will no doubt dabble again (if maybe just for one last time) so this section will be mine and your backup if we need some weird random shizzle to watch. This will hopefully save countless hours searching youtube just to realise you had no idea what you were looking for in the first place.

This, tramp fans, will be a resource for on tap weirdness to possibly send you over the edge. Actually, I guess thats what this whole is site is, I just hadnt quite realised it.